I'm surprised you had no intention of following up the last one, felt a lot like a first chapter to me. And this feels like the continuation of a serial that I'd be up for reading more of. If you're not careful you'll end up with a serialized novel on your hands.
If this doesn't turn into a serialized novel as suggested by Mr. Two First Names (possibly three unless the F stands for his mother's maiden name as is sometime the way in some cultures) then I may be forced to go all berserker mode on you. No pressure though (mostly because my berserker mode is indistinguishable from my doing-my-taxes mode. Also, my berserker bear skin makes me look like Paddington Bear.)
Rest in paradise, Vinnie's testicles. Hardly knew ye.
(Really fun story addition here, btw. The only note I have is that Bat's progression from the crash into dialogue felt a little too fast, even with this comedic tone? Probably just me on that, though.)
I'm surprised you had no intention of following up the last one, felt a lot like a first chapter to me. And this feels like the continuation of a serial that I'd be up for reading more of. If you're not careful you'll end up with a serialized novel on your hands.
I wish I knew Batya in real life. She is fun.
I need backstory on Vinnie. Why is he seemingly so good at alliteration yet bad at goon-ing? The answer is probably somewhat if not mostly Freudian.
If this doesn't turn into a serialized novel as suggested by Mr. Two First Names (possibly three unless the F stands for his mother's maiden name as is sometime the way in some cultures) then I may be forced to go all berserker mode on you. No pressure though (mostly because my berserker mode is indistinguishable from my doing-my-taxes mode. Also, my berserker bear skin makes me look like Paddington Bear.)
Rest in paradise, Vinnie's testicles. Hardly knew ye.
(Really fun story addition here, btw. The only note I have is that Bat's progression from the crash into dialogue felt a little too fast, even with this comedic tone? Probably just me on that, though.)